Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Douchebags and DIY

 "....let me tell ya bout' my best frienddd"

This is how my evening is going 5 days post Laparoscopy.  Why yes its been a pretty crappy day..or not so crappy you could say.

But first lets talk about this guy douchebag.....


Who walks around Walmart wearing a Hollister v-neck with arms smaller than mine, harassing women making derogatory comments. For example "small tits" to yours truly....this was after I saw him in the makeup isle trying on some lipstick  stalking other women.  This wasn't just a comment and a "ha ha ha I was kidding."  He actually had the nerve to turn around after I yelled to him asking a questionable but you better not be, "are you talking to me?!?" His reply was an asshole...without even a smile "yea..duh."  
Then my head exploded into outer space and I began chasing him like I just saw Mark Wahlberg shirtless walk by my isle.


Anyways my video on IG of him getting the third degree after a I take my job way too seriously but lovable security guard tracked him down along with small titsMcgee of course.  His running away(literally) and hiding for 30 minutes was no match for public shaming and my later witty comments. I gave him a clear lesson on googling my girl Jenna to rethink his judgement of tits when a female is wearing a sports bra..insert quick meme version of her YT video.

Lets just all be thankful my husband is in Afghanistan or other wise someone might have went to sleep in the bird seed isle, because we know no one shops there anyways(Chels). Moving on.  If you live in or around Jacksonville, NC and you happen to run your cart into him by accident don't be sorry.

Ok so I didn't get on here to blab about my daily freak encounters with the public at large. I could go on for days. I did however want to share with you what I have been doing in my spare time while not showering for days and recovering while trying to just go number two for starters. A little DIY for my craft loving friends. If you didn't know by now. I am craft whore. I love making things and doing those on a budget. 

Today I had some fun making this photo letter wall art of our last name and wanted to share my not so fancy but oh so lazy way.  I needed some practice since I will be making this for a friend as a wedding gift((spoiler alert)) and thought I might as well start on my own name first. So here we go.



Head to your local Hobby Lobby and buy all the letters you need for whatever word you're trying to create. These were $1.99 each and with the last name of Spurling..it cost me 16 bucks.  Orrr you can go online and download them for FREE here Leo Reynolds Collection!



Then take about 20 minutes deciding if you want to stagger or set them in a straight line...I finally went with straight.


You can buy all these frames for .97 cents each at Walmart like I did. Bringing the grand total for my project to $24.00. A whole lot cheaper than the $40-60 dollars I saw online. Or $8 if you download them for FREE above and can resist going full Charlie Sheen the moment you enter a Hobby Lobby. 


Proceed to trash the instructions and break the plastic pieces off the back...because you didn't read the instructions. That is completely ok, you will use the pieces later if you want.

The glass pops out of the front if you push on the top corner with a little bit of grace..I needed a lot of grace.


Get out your trusty glue gun..and begin gluing the frames together side by side...be careful not to glue them to your carpet or in my case, pillowcase.

Do not let a photo op like this go to waste....oh Barry sanders.  I could just pop his wittle head off.

 After you are done gluing the sides...carefully flip your frames over and begin adding a hoarders amount of glue(around two sticks) to the back side and cracks.  Hopefully your frames are tight and it doesn't leak through. Mine didn't luckily.  Now you can also use those broken pieces for extra support. I am a glue gun freak. Kind of like a hair dresser with scissors. I. Just. Can't. Stop.


While the glue is drying begin taking more pictures of your needs brushed photogenic dog.


Seriously this guy.  Hims daddy misses hims tons.

Then try to snap a picture of your finished project while not disturbing the Queen.  No really she is Beyonce up in this motha'.
 

 These guys are wore out already and we haven't even hung it yet...lightweights.

Hijack any photo hanging spare parts you can find (I stole three) and glue them to the back of your frame.

 You can be professinal and grab a ruler and measure out your marks for your nails or you can be classy and use the toothpaste trick by applying a dab to a spot on the picture hangers and once you have it lined up on the wall eye balling it all the way, press it against and voila. Marks for your nails. Classy. Lazy but effective.

Begin patching all the holes in your wall after moving around your other frames to squeeze this one in is optional.

Then you have to drag a 10 gallon bucket of paint inside that the builders left on accident when you bought the house. Thank you builders. And begin covering said patches. Don't even bother moving the leather sofa or new pillows..just hope your extra careful and don't spill any. ((rolling eyes, heavy sarcasm))
After that's all done and the paint is dry, place your nails in the toothpaste marks and hang your beautiful artwork. Be careful she is not going to be super sturdy unless you go all gung ho and glue a couple paint sticks across the back(I did not).  But I thought about it.

Stand back and be completely amazed that you didn't spill, scratch, stain or break anything while re-hanging and aligning all the frames sans husband(or wife).  There may be a few nails having a party behind the couch when we move that are later discovered but for now we will pretend they aren't there. And just later blame the husband.

Thinking about taking these down to move in seven months makes my head hurt but for now I will "Enjoy the Ride."

P.S. Thank you everyone for your amazing and supportive comments the last few days with our new found answers.  I am not sure what the next month holds but I would guess it is alot of DIY and crafty blogging.  Hopefully minus the douchebags.  Hope everyone has fun with this project and you all have a great week and let us not forget when America was attacked 12 years ago today. 

9/11 "Where were you when the world stop turning...." RIP to all the innocent we lost that sad sad day. We will never forget. 

2 comments:

  1. Ultimate blog post I must call it! The part totally made me ROFL was - "Hijack any photo hanging spare parts you can find (I stole three) and glue them to the back of your frame". Oh man I couldn't stop laughing at this. You're so humorous.

    Regards,
    Vijay Shree

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like reading your updates, where have you been? I hope you're well.

    ReplyDelete