Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Labor Day-The movie.

Wow. I certainly wasn't ready for that last half hour. Talk about being blindsided like a surprise we are pregnant friend announcement.  Where did that even come from? If you haven't watched the movie yet then hello spoiler alert ahead. But I kind of wish I had known the ending, so I could have prepared myself a little better or decided to waste my dollar on paranormal activity 63 instead. 

So basically. Woman(Adele) has a son(Henry) who is around 12. Adele's husband leaves her for his secretary and two kids when Henry is young. She lives a completley secluded life with Henry who sees his father once a week. And we are talking crazy lady goes grocery shopping once a month, has the shakes, is emotionally detached, hermit kind of life perception.  Adele and Henry help a prison escapee(Frank) not by choice; but he did ask nicely. Adele and Frank fall in love over the five days(Labor day weekend) as he "hides out" at her house. Like we didn't see that coming. Henry also loves having a "father" who cares for him since his is a dick and his mom is crazy. Who wouldn't?!  Frank is an ok guy repairing her house and bonding with baseball with Henry.  Even though 20 yearsish ago he did push his wife when he found out she was sleeping around while he left for war and she fell hit her dumb cheating, slutty head and died. Frank cared for his "baby" 24/7, and he sadly drowned in the tub while slutty wife and him were arguing before her untimely death. So hence why he was in jail.   

Are you with me??? Lame and predictable up to this point.

Frank, Adele and Henry decide towards the end of the movie to run off to Canada together as one happy family. Frank discovers baby book which has pictures of Henry(the son) and also maternity pictures of Adele's baby that died at birth. Adele leaves to get something(can't remember what because I was too busy crying over the damn miscarriage) from the store. Frank notices her shaking and that she can't even leave the driveway(her son is always with her).  Unfortunately at this time Henry is dropping off a letter to his dad saying "goodbye" which later gets Frank caught before they could run for the border like OJ. Meanwhile Frank goes out to car and Adele explains the real reason why she is the way she is.  Not because her husband is a complete cheating dick and made her go crazy from heartbreak. But because her husband was a complete dick who couldn't stand by his wife through her multiple recurring miscarriages. 

Yes it was pretty graphic to watch if you've ever been pregnant and woke up to a pool of blood and feeling like someone was ripping out your insides. The movie showed flashbacks of Adele and douchebag ex trying over and over again until finally making it to full term but sadly the baby was still born. <<enter infertile heartbreak for her loss with feelings of wake the hell up you have an amazing son to be living for already anger did they really save this for the last five minutes?>>

Their brilliant plan to run away is diminished when the cops show up from Henry's letter drop off minutes prior. Frank ties up Adele and Henry and slits their throats and shoots himself. The end.  

Wait a minute. Not really. Frank gets arrested for "kidnapping" and Adele and Henry go on to live without him for the next 20 years. Adele is still miserable and alone. Henry moves out and back in with Adele his senior year because his dad tells him what a dick he himself was for not supporting Adele through her emotional downfall. Failed attempt at not coming off as a dick and bastard father. 

Henry goes on to open up a pie bakery because they spent twenty minutes on one scene bonding over making a damn peach pie all together. Frank sees magazine article of Henry's successful bakery the day before he gets released from prison and writes Henry. Adele and Frank meet up and live happily ever after. The end. Really this time. 

So a few things. Personally I think this movie was lame for a couple reasons. I did feel sorry for Adele during the two brief minutes it showed her having miscarriages. Of course I did. But I can't get over the fact that she had such an amazing son already who needed her love. Hell they even slapped a handicap kid just to try to get your attention. Which by the way. I may feel differently about spending a dollar on this movie if that slapping mother would have been ran over crossing the street at some point.  And why the hell were they so sweaty throughout the whole thing? I didn't know New Hampshire was so damn humid?  And how can an escapee snap you out of a Betty Ford clinic depression over a weekend of a predictable story line but your living breathing son is simply a reminder of your deep inconsolable depression?? If I were a rude and honest friend I would tell Adele to wake the fuck up and cherish what you have. Like the son that is living.  I feel empathy for her. But not sympathy. Get some counseling or at least some Prozac.  I haven't had the privilege or blessing to carry one child yet to full term so that's a big blank space of confusion to be determined once that dream and blessing is thrown my way and simply where my personal infertile heart lies for now. I'll be sure to write honestly how I feel once I hopefully carry one child on what it's like to want another. 

To be short. The only way I would have liked this movie was if Adele wasn't a mother already. Frank was played by Ryan Gosling or maybe even the new buffer Zac Effron(pedophile much?). They weren't so damn grossly sweaty unless it was set in any state east coast and south of Virginia.  A handicap kid doesn't get slapped without any repercussions. They showed more than two seconds of her struggle with conceiving and miscarriages. Ending with her having a healthy baby with either Ryan or Zac. Too much to ask? 

Nice try Labor Nah......But Rachel Ebert gives you two thumbs down. 

Cue the "secondary infertility" bad emails.......cue the not in my shoes responses. 

FYI my niece will be born in two days so be prepared for annoying overflow of newborn pictures soon. 

Friday, April 18, 2014

PCS and Flip phones.

We met with our realtor yesterday.  That was fun. If by fun I mean dipping a dull needle in acid and jamming it into your pressure points fun. The builders have backed up the dump truck of manuer and shit on all the homeowners equity here in Onslow County, NC. How kind of them.  We are talking grandpa needs a triple bypass clog. Our house may be worth 155k dollars but we would need the stars to align under a full blood moon while raising the dinosaurs from the dead to sell for anything over 120,000. And that would take two years. Yes the market here is that awesome. Lucky. 

However,  there is no need to join the negative equity pity party.  According to Vanilla Ice if there was a problem yo' he'd solve it. So we are taking on that mantra minus those sick rap lyrics and highlighted hair.  

Enter our back up plans.  Whenever you are PCSing, it's a good idea to always think of the worst possible scenario and how the heck you are going to get through it. 

Case in point. 
Problem: May 15th rolls around and our house is still sitting on the market (not rented) but D has to check into Fort Leonard Wood regardless if a meteor just struck the earth and a mile high tsunami is headed for the east coast. Ok. Maybe then he would get an extra day. But you get the point. 

Solution: Cry. That too.  What would also happen is D would go to MO and stay with another Marine we know sans Rachel until our house is filled with renters.  Reality is we cannot pay two mortgages especially with the whole IVF debacle approaching. 

Which leads us to more solutions. Getting rid of car payments. And ready for it......bah bah bahmmm. Cellular devices. Good bye iPhones. Hello 1999 flip phone. Not really. But when you go from an iPhone to let's say just a cell phone for text and talking its major around here. And me just stating that confirms the issue that there is a problem. Time to cut the cord.  Plus we both have iPads so the travesty isn't what it seems. Wifi is the new data plan. 

<<Please share what you have done to save money for IVF?? TIA!>>

So with all this cutting the cords and cars crap (We were blessed by our amazing grandma who gave us her old Yukon.  Shoutout to grandma! Although she's probably playing slot-o-mania and is on a three day winning streak and won't see this for months.  Either way she rocks.))  this allows us to save for IVF.  With finding a new place in Missouri, dragging our whole life across the country in a Uhaul and realtor fees for our current home it allows us to try to finally become parents sooner than later.

One last thing. Kind of important. We are also selling shirts through a fundraiser website called Tfund.

Little did I know you could change the goal of how many we will sell in 21 days. So I pledged the maximum of 275. Lol whoops. Either way we have sold enough already for them to be printed. So if you would like to spend 20 bucks on a tee shirt for our test tube babies I couldn't thank you enough. We do not know how many fresh IVF cycles we will have to get through and so we are trying to prepare however we can. Hence the cars and phones going away.  If you don't have 20 dollars to spare, tell a rich friend, let's say Ellen? if she's your bestie that also works. 

This is obviously something we care about greatly and even though I joke around 90% of the time it's honestly my way of dealing with the craziness of infertility. Plus it is NIAW(National Infertility Awareness Week) so you would be helping spread the word of infertility and then maybe one day when our insurance companies get their act(shit) together they will cover not only birth control and abortion pills but IVF for responsible, married, tax paying adults who just want a chance at a family.

But for now it's flip phones and selling tee shirts. Get on my level. 

Friday, April 11, 2014

The Black Sheep.

Well shit. I completely derailed my previous post about not taking 37 years for my next post. My most sincere sarcastic apologies. So let's get an update shall we? 

Hmmmm. Good news is I didn't forget my password to Blogger. Bad news is that after bleeding for 55 days straight(RIP to the hundreds of pads and tampons that were innocently murdered) I'm still waiting for AF. It's been two months and she's not showing her face. Not a cramp or bloat in sight. Before we get excited. I am not knocked up. I decided after our ectopic to end the years of fertility drugs to make me ovulate and take a break from every two weeks having my private parts poked, proded and stared at by another man. I will not go through another ectopic again. And so IVF is our only option. If you have been somehow following along since the beginning of this hot mess train then you know we are moving to FLW, Missouri by June. So IVF will be happening there. We are thinking end of summer or fall. But first lets get our house sold or rented and go from there. ((Enter big sigh of relief on June 1st)). So no active TTC has been going on. Actually D and I were reunited after 3 weeks just this week.  While he was off playing Marine in another foreign country I was busy with a gender reveal for my baby sister(shes not a baby anymore but still *my baby sister), and a baby shower for my sister in law(but really she's more a sister). Gasping for air? The horror I know!!? Actually they were my top two fave moments thus far for 2014. And not because my year started out as shit. But because I love these gals and they are going to be super moms.  And slightly because both had planned pregnancies and don't smoke crack. Winning. (If they do, they are pretty good at hiding it).


Sorry my pics are jacked up. I'll fix them later. I'm blogging from my iPad due to tech issues with my laptop. Aka. It's a POS. But not a top priority POS at this moment. But I put together the dessert table for my sister in law and managed to make her cake and have it arrive in one piece. I didn't make my sister the bee reveal cake(hello I like surprises too) but I did do the diaper cake. So if you didn't know. Now you do. I like crafting. Sewing and painting. And making cakes. The chevron glitter epidemic was a first and last though. And the tutu table skirt well yea that was a beautiful but horrible idea. I do have an etsy. Which I won't share here cause that's not what this blog is about. But I also make wreaths. You can say Martha Stewart sans jail time is my idol. Moving on.....

believe that those two events buy me a pass for playing hooky online. Three if you count packing up my house alone and putting everything in the garage. Can we say free workout? I can always count on a good PCS move to help me loose that extra 15lbs I gained from infertility and an ectopic this year. I am married to a man who eats a bag of chips and abs spontaneously pop out. Talk about not standing on the beach next to that guy. Jerk. I love you. But your metabolism is still a jerk. Your a freak of nature. 

Finally I'd like to make it clear why I started this blog. I am not here to impress, blow up my ego, gain millions of followers or give worldly sound advice. I am simply here to speak my infertile mind. I don't hold back. I don't sugar coat. I don't shoot rainbows up your vagina and make you feel warm and fuzzy like boot socks and tights with a warm cup of cocoa in wintertime. I don't win blogging awards or use advertisements.  I'm more of the summer thunderstorm that pops out of nowhere to ruin your day at the beach or make you laugh.  You can either wait it out or pack up and leave. It's not that big of a deal. I am here to relate to infertile women in my shoes who feel the same as me. I say shit and fuck. More than I should. Sorry I hang out with Marines every weekend and it typically only comes out when I blog or tweet. Or drink. Which is pretty much every weekend. Thanks mom. 😑 Case in point. Twitter.

I am the black sheep of infertility. A lot of infertile women do not portray the absolute disaster that is my infertility front and center.  But then again most of them are on to their 2nd or 3rd IVF baby already. Or don't have to shovel out $15000 + just to try.  Lol not funny but so true. Damn it.  There are IF bloggers who speak words of enspiring strength. Those are the blogs you should be reading. Anyone can say shit or drop F bombs followed by pictures of pregnant crack heads. Maybe I am the balance to the madness? Who knows. I just know I'm not going to change the way I feel or what I say to avoid stepping on someone's toes or fertile feelings. 

 If you are a mom blogger or just a fertile broad in general. I will most likely say something that you do not agree with and likely piss you off. And that's fine. Why are you following me anyways. Don't you have a hand made pair of moccasin shoes to make for your 5 children? 2+3 isn't 6 so instead of emailing or following me with displeasure please feel free to take it up with someone who cares. Or just keep on creeping on homegirl. I must be doing something half assed right if I still have your attention.  I'm the car crash that you stare at as you drive by thinking thank god that isn't me.  I do not dislike moms or babies. I DO dislike hearing in my social media circle how hard your pregnancy/parenting is. Very simple. Just like my infertility. I don't ever go on and on how hard this bullshit is day after day year after year on social media. So if that's what you do(you have every right as a full believer in freedom and as a Libertarian) just please don't do it around myself or anyone that may be going through infertility, for the hundreth time. Which you might not even know because many women keep it personal and quiet. Hence why you should just stop crying online to people who don't give two shits. But you go ahead and do you and I'll be over here sticking to Twitter and blogs like mine. (Instagram is on a break for me) it's starting to be the new passive aggressive Facebook now after three years. Can we just go back to before it was cool to have IG?? People just do not get it. Allegedly. 

Until next rant or clarification. TGIF! And three cheers for this 80 degree NC weather!