"Well well well, its about time you made an appearance around here. We were beginning to think you hi-jacked a school bus full of preschoolers and headed for Canada(we all know Mexico isn't a safe bet anymore). "
Even though that sounds like a well thought out plan, I unfortunately cannot for the life of me figure out how to drive a school bus. Something about all those gears. So for now, lets stick with this ole' IVF thing. Science I hear has come a long way in the past 20 years so we are going to give it a shot. Literally.
Pun definitely intended.
I oh so cleverly stole this picture via the world wide web..so whoever you are. Thanks.So before I jump into all my obnoxious and oh so over the top Fall lovin' glory, as we sit waiting in the middle of August, how about an update on my broken lady parts.
I had my consult with Dr. H last Wednesday and finally got the chance to tickle my IVF fancy of questions. The next step he wants to pursue in baby maker wonderland is a Laparascopy. If you click the word it will explain what that means. Basically in idiot terms it is a surgery that involves some incisions, a tiny camera, repair tools(just in case), and lots of pain pills and bed rest. Totally looking forward to the last part of that sentence. Whoever brings me home from the Lap and takes care of me while I most likely cry like a three year old being carried out of ToysRus can have whats left of Lindsey Lohans dignity.
Or Heidi Montag's real face. Wherever that might be at......
All I'm saying is I have never in my 32 years of exsitence had any surgery procedure minor or not. I can not be held responsible for my antics or behavior within that 24 hour time frame.
Who's coming with me?
Dr. H is suppose to call this week to let me know what day in September this catastrophic probing will take place. Catastrophic in that it could be the key to my Pandoras box. hehehe need I say more...smh.
So the Lap is set for next month and depending on results or any "repairs" we will be doing IVF in January. That was another question during my consult. The big one. Prices. We all know this
Even with all that said, somehow and someway I still have a tiny flicker of hope inside that we may pull a Hail Mary in the 4th quarter to win by one. One chubby, dimpled, bald headed toothless point that is. I will be starting acupuncture again along with herbal all natural supplements in October. My husband will be home at the end of October/early November and we all know his counts are at a all time high. Yuck. It would be the perfect time for us to have a baby like normal fertile couples do. Miracles do happen folks. No one every thought the Back Street Boys would come back and look at them now. All matching outfits and slick dance moves.
Now depending on my Lap results IVF could be a go or could be a no go. It took me a couple of days to recoup my mindset after that appointment. Seeing 18,000 dollars on paper is enough to make you question how badly you want this. Not going to lie. For a split second, I really envisioned me and my husband as Carl and Ellie floating away to South America via a balloon carried house. And quite frankly, that is never out of the question because it isn't up to just science and money. I know there is a plan and purpose for us, whether that is as a two person family or three, and it will prevail in due time. There was also mentions of a sketchy diabolical plan from an instagrammy friend to sell our un-needed organs on a black market to pay for said procedure. I am still considering that so if you know of anyone in need of a kidney let me know. I can hold my pee for a long time.
I guess that option is out too...damn you birthdays.
On the bright side our
shitty lame Tricare military insurance covers our drugs for IVF. So a loan to the tune of 13,000 dollars is what we will be looking at. One fresh cycle. One shot. One leap of faith. Any family members can win the lottery at any point in time. I will be here waiting. Impatiently.
Now for my favorite part of this post. Fall. As I sit here with my owl mug and green tea in hand I am more than anxious for this season to be upon us. Yes I love summer. But I love fall even more. I had said before that I was a tomboy and not into fashion or style. I guess I can eat my words because that was a lie. When it comes to fall, I love nothing more than some tall leather boots, warm leggings, and over-sized sweaters. So without boring you with more words, I put into pictures some of my favorite things that describe what fall is to me.
Thank you George whoever you are.
Boots on boots on boots...followed with leg warmers and comfy clothes.
Witchy movies, TWD, seasonal beverages, bonfires and front porch love.
Crabcakes and football thats what Maryland does.
Minion and pumpkins I just can't resist.
Last but most certainly not least...my number one reason why Fall simply rocks more than before. And please for the love of us military wives block me on all social media accounts before you complain about spending five boring minutes with your dumb boring husband. I believe you married the guy. We would give our left pinky(right if your left handed) to spend just one of those minutes back with ours. Just as seeing constant baby bumps, preggers complain about being preggers, bad parenting or overflows of newborns (not that any of those bother me except the complainers) seeing you share with the world how bored you are or how much your husband sucks royally chaps my you know what. And please by all means complain away. Just block me out of respect of the fact that its been five months since I or others have even hugged ours or months before I can relax knowing he is safe off doing dumb shit with his dumb boyfriends while the garbage needs emptied.
I'll be here waiting Fall...no big deal.
David we almost made it.......bliss.