Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Labor Day-The movie.

Wow. I certainly wasn't ready for that last half hour. Talk about being blindsided like a surprise we are pregnant friend announcement.  Where did that even come from? If you haven't watched the movie yet then hello spoiler alert ahead. But I kind of wish I had known the ending, so I could have prepared myself a little better or decided to waste my dollar on paranormal activity 63 instead. 

So basically. Woman(Adele) has a son(Henry) who is around 12. Adele's husband leaves her for his secretary and two kids when Henry is young. She lives a completley secluded life with Henry who sees his father once a week. And we are talking crazy lady goes grocery shopping once a month, has the shakes, is emotionally detached, hermit kind of life perception.  Adele and Henry help a prison escapee(Frank) not by choice; but he did ask nicely. Adele and Frank fall in love over the five days(Labor day weekend) as he "hides out" at her house. Like we didn't see that coming. Henry also loves having a "father" who cares for him since his is a dick and his mom is crazy. Who wouldn't?!  Frank is an ok guy repairing her house and bonding with baseball with Henry.  Even though 20 yearsish ago he did push his wife when he found out she was sleeping around while he left for war and she fell hit her dumb cheating, slutty head and died. Frank cared for his "baby" 24/7, and he sadly drowned in the tub while slutty wife and him were arguing before her untimely death. So hence why he was in jail.   

Are you with me??? Lame and predictable up to this point.

Frank, Adele and Henry decide towards the end of the movie to run off to Canada together as one happy family. Frank discovers baby book which has pictures of Henry(the son) and also maternity pictures of Adele's baby that died at birth. Adele leaves to get something(can't remember what because I was too busy crying over the damn miscarriage) from the store. Frank notices her shaking and that she can't even leave the driveway(her son is always with her).  Unfortunately at this time Henry is dropping off a letter to his dad saying "goodbye" which later gets Frank caught before they could run for the border like OJ. Meanwhile Frank goes out to car and Adele explains the real reason why she is the way she is.  Not because her husband is a complete cheating dick and made her go crazy from heartbreak. But because her husband was a complete dick who couldn't stand by his wife through her multiple recurring miscarriages. 

Yes it was pretty graphic to watch if you've ever been pregnant and woke up to a pool of blood and feeling like someone was ripping out your insides. The movie showed flashbacks of Adele and douchebag ex trying over and over again until finally making it to full term but sadly the baby was still born. <<enter infertile heartbreak for her loss with feelings of wake the hell up you have an amazing son to be living for already anger did they really save this for the last five minutes?>>

Their brilliant plan to run away is diminished when the cops show up from Henry's letter drop off minutes prior. Frank ties up Adele and Henry and slits their throats and shoots himself. The end.  

Wait a minute. Not really. Frank gets arrested for "kidnapping" and Adele and Henry go on to live without him for the next 20 years. Adele is still miserable and alone. Henry moves out and back in with Adele his senior year because his dad tells him what a dick he himself was for not supporting Adele through her emotional downfall. Failed attempt at not coming off as a dick and bastard father. 

Henry goes on to open up a pie bakery because they spent twenty minutes on one scene bonding over making a damn peach pie all together. Frank sees magazine article of Henry's successful bakery the day before he gets released from prison and writes Henry. Adele and Frank meet up and live happily ever after. The end. Really this time. 

So a few things. Personally I think this movie was lame for a couple reasons. I did feel sorry for Adele during the two brief minutes it showed her having miscarriages. Of course I did. But I can't get over the fact that she had such an amazing son already who needed her love. Hell they even slapped a handicap kid just to try to get your attention. Which by the way. I may feel differently about spending a dollar on this movie if that slapping mother would have been ran over crossing the street at some point.  And why the hell were they so sweaty throughout the whole thing? I didn't know New Hampshire was so damn humid?  And how can an escapee snap you out of a Betty Ford clinic depression over a weekend of a predictable story line but your living breathing son is simply a reminder of your deep inconsolable depression?? If I were a rude and honest friend I would tell Adele to wake the fuck up and cherish what you have. Like the son that is living.  I feel empathy for her. But not sympathy. Get some counseling or at least some Prozac.  I haven't had the privilege or blessing to carry one child yet to full term so that's a big blank space of confusion to be determined once that dream and blessing is thrown my way and simply where my personal infertile heart lies for now. I'll be sure to write honestly how I feel once I hopefully carry one child on what it's like to want another. 

To be short. The only way I would have liked this movie was if Adele wasn't a mother already. Frank was played by Ryan Gosling or maybe even the new buffer Zac Effron(pedophile much?). They weren't so damn grossly sweaty unless it was set in any state east coast and south of Virginia.  A handicap kid doesn't get slapped without any repercussions. They showed more than two seconds of her struggle with conceiving and miscarriages. Ending with her having a healthy baby with either Ryan or Zac. Too much to ask? 

Nice try Labor Nah......But Rachel Ebert gives you two thumbs down. 

Cue the "secondary infertility" bad emails.......cue the not in my shoes responses. 

FYI my niece will be born in two days so be prepared for annoying overflow of newborn pictures soon. 

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