Sunday, August 17, 2014

Nuke yourself. 20 things "I don't" like tag.



So once upon a time I wrote a whole blog post about why I deleted or unfollowed 150 people while I was high on anesthesia but then I deleted it because I really don't care to explain myself so instead I was inspired to make a list of inspiring things that make me want to nuke myself or someone else. Some of the people I accidentally unfollowed but I can't remember who so if 3 or more of these apply to you then it was on purpose. Enjoy!

My version of the "20 things about me tag" with a nuke twist. Bahh boom.


Nuke yourself if.......

You have to go to Walmart on a military payday weekend see also "mandatory" military family functions as an infertile. Nuke myself. (nuke myself are not counted as a yes..wink wink)

My unreproductive system.  Nuke myself(I hope you're catching on now....) 

Anyone who has taken a photo like this. 



BFN's. Nuke myself. 

People who don't know what USMC stands for. 

When people refer to Marines as soldiers. 


The parents of this girl or ones like her. 


Teen mom and I didn't know I was pregnant episodes.

This woman or ANY pregnant woman smoking. 



Weight restrictions on bounce houses. You don't know my life.

 


People who steal my gold and elixir while I'm sleeping on COC. 

People who say "I know exactly how you feel" but their insurance covers IVF.


West Boro baptist church members. 

Gun control. 

ISIS and Al Qaeda.




Our welfare system.

Adoption costing over 25K but millions of babies are born homeless and unwanted every year. 

The parents of these two. 



Liberals. 

Cloth diapering. I'd rather nuke myself. 

Americas criminal justice system. Aka. Cruel and unusual punishment law. You just raped a three year old. Strap him to a post and burn that mother fucker Salem style. 

Anyone who has ever hash-tagged milspo, militarywifey, hardestjobinthecore etc...and thinks it's actually a "job". 

People who have started a fight or argued on social media with someone else. But that's none of my business. 


Cold french fries. 

Liars. 
See also fake people. 

Married sluts who cheat on their husbands while they are deployed.  Double bah boom.

 

People who make their dogs sleep outside. 

People who don't vaccinate their children. Go hug a tree and die from small pox hippie.  

People who smoke outside of a non smoking building and I have to walk into it. 

Getting gum stuck to your shoe. See also stepping in dog shit. 

Parents that take their kids to an R rated movie. 

People who talk smack or comment on other peoples sports team on social media. Double nuke if you are a band wagoner or never watch sports unless your team is winning or only your team. Get. A. Life. 

People in STL rioting over Michael Brown for being the thug he was but not having a clue who Cpl Rob Richards is. Nuke yourself twice. 

RIP to the heroes like Cpl Richards. 

People over 70 who win the lottery. 

People who grew up in a land locked state. {traveled abroad, military brat, or Great Lakes don't nuke yourself}


People who take this post to heart. 



Anyone selling fat wraps, nail wraps, or any wrap on my news feed.

People who post bump pictures weeks 4-8. You're either bloated or just fat. The other people commenting how "good you look" are liars. So stop.

People who watch CNN, ABC, NBC, or CBS for "news". 

Me having to run.


Drivers who don't turn right on red. See also people who drive slow in the passing lane and never get over or never use a turn signal.  

People who have multiple baby showers year after year. 


People with Christmas countdowns before Halloween. 

People who get in the express checkout with 273763882 things. 

People who are rude to waitresses/waiters. Also see bad tippers.

Cancer. F YOU. 

People who request to follow me and hashtag #preggoproblems #preggoprobs #pregnantproblems etc etc. And wonder why I don't follow back. 

And last but not least people who take 18 years to order fast food or pick out a Red Box. You're not building a rocket. 




Good news is tomorrow is Monday! 

Thanks for the uninspiration society.

Bye.







2 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, This was amazing!! Thanks for sharing!! Cannot freaking stand the Marines being called Soldiers crap, drives my husband crazy too, but all of this was just wonderful!!! BRAVO!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I f-ing love reading your posts. #FuckInfertility

    ReplyDelete