Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The Infertility Mason's

Side note. The IUI was not painful at all. Cramping started later that night and is still present today. I would say on my 1-10 scale it went from a 1 to a 3. But not bad considering. My nurse said it was from the huge follicles, not "washing" the sperm enough, and scraping my cervix. I will gladly do this 100 times over if we reach our end goal of a baby. Not complaining, that is only for my family update. On with the post....

TTC, BD, 2ww, HPT, O, IUI, IVF, BC, DTD.................and many more!

If you somehow managed to get sucked into this blog by my magical hypnotizing powers, I guess it would be considerate of me to take time out of my precious schedule of catching up on Grey's Anatomy and braiding my dogs hair, to let you in on the ever so confusing infertility language.

My husband calls us "the secret society of infertiles, or Mason's " and that we have our own language that we use to disguise ourselves from the ordinary fertile public.  I will not deny any of that statement except that we are not trying to disguise ourselves, we just do it out of habit because its part of our community.

You know that you have been TTC(trying to conceive) for a long time, when your husband asks, "Do we have to BD(baby dance) for the TTC!" I died.

 I may or may not have pissed my pants on that one. So we saved on some pre-seed that night. Whatever.  I call that a win. Or thrifty?  Irrelevant. More about the lingo, less about needing adult diapers at 32.

To make it simple there is a list of Accronyms that us IF(infertile) women use on a daily basis. Why? To be honest I am not quite sure. We live in a world of social media and with that comes not wanting to spend an hour typing something that could be done in five minutes.

If you are really close with my personal life then you already know how much time I spend on Instagram. This is my lifeline of communication in a world of IF women that I have become close with along this journey. How close you might ask? Well, for starters, we send each other care packages, text, email, have coffee dates if your locally near someone(even though I haven't yet), send cards of encouragement, pray for each other, cry with each other and buy baby gifts for the ones who finally conceive. Heck some of us even drive across states to attend a baby shower for a TTCer that finally succeeds.

Congratulations to J&W on baby Sullivan by the way, who was born yesterday afternoon, 8lbs 2oz. and 22in. of adorableness !!!! Her blog link on my page is "Inconceivable," if you want to know what its like to reach the "other side" of infertility. Be prepared and have tissues in hand. Do not say I didn't warn you.

I have no idea where I was going with that. Except only to show you how much time I spend on Instagram.  I may need counseling if it were to ever shutdown.  I will definitely need counseling if it were to ever shut down. Hence why I have it set to private and do not add everyone that wants to follow along just because. It is my place for venting and you would thank me if I turned down your request knowing what I post on there at times. Your welcome. So do not take it to heart.

Ok, so now you know that we use acronyms a lot. Its much easier to use them on social media websites and apps.  I think it falls naturally into everything else. So with that said here is a list of my version.  I saved you some sanity and shortened it to the ones that I use most often.

ACU ~ Acupuncture
AF ~ Aunt Flo (period) Damn her
AO ~ Anovulation (does not ovulate/release an egg) This is me. Lucky.
BD ~ Baby Dance (sex, make love, intercourse) Make love doesn't happen very often in our world
BBT ~ Basal Body Temperature (lowest body temperature/taken before getting out of bed in am to chart O)
BCP ~ Birth Control Pills
Beta ~Name of pregnancy blood test
BFN ~ Big Fat Negative
BFP ~Big Fat Positive
CD ~ Cycle Day (CD1 is the start of AF) Now your catching on?!
CM~Cervical Mucus (fluid secreted by cervix/varies depending on CD) (yummy)
DH ~Dearest Husband
DD ~ Darling Daughter (what my DH says he will push out to sea if we have)
DS ~ Darling Son
D&C ~ Dilation and Curettage (procedure used with miscarriages) Heartbreak.
DE ~ Donor Eggs

DPO ~ Days Past Ovulation
DPIUI ~Days Past IUI
DTD ~ Do The Deed (see BD)
EDD ~ Estimated Due Date
EWCM ~ Egg White Cervical Mucus (consistency/most fertile days) Now I am craving an egg sandwich.
FMU ~First Morning Urine
HCG ~ Human Chronic Gonadotropin (hormone produced by fertilized egg/detected in HPTs)
HPT ~ Home Pregnancy Test
IF ~ Infertility
IVF ~ In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)
IUI ~ In Uterine Insemination (IUI) The procedure I just had done.
LP ~ Luteal Phase
2WW, TWW ~ 2 Week Wait (The time in between ovulation and CD1 or a BFP/BFN) Horrible.
LSP ~ Low Sperm Count
MC, m/c ~ Miscarriage
MF ~ Male Factor (infertility due to male factors) Duh.

O, OV ~ Ovulation
OPK ~ Ovulation Predictor Kit
PCAP ~ Polycystic Appearing Ovaries (differs from PCOS)
PCOS ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
PG ~ Pregnant
POAS ~ Pee On A Stick (not the kind that grows on a tree, an HPT for the lamers)
RE ~ Reproductive Endocrinologist (baby maker/miracle worker) I should have seen 4 years ago.
SA ~ Semen Analysis
SI ~ Secondary Infertility (someone who has one child but TTC another for over a year)
TTC ~ Trying To Conceive
TMI ~ Too Much Information (I do this sometimes.  I do this all the time.)
US, u/s ~ Ultrasound

So my story would go along the lines of this:

DH and I have been TTC with IF for 5 years now! I have only been diagnosed with AO and PCAP by my RE. We have DTD/BD without any BCP and I have been tracking my CDs and O. I got a +OPK on CD 14 along with TMI alot of EWCM.  My US showed 2 huge follicles @27mm and 24mm! I just did my first IUI.  DHs SA came back good and thawed at 6 million sperm. I am at 3DPIUI and have resisted the urge to POAS. Worst 2ww ever! I can't wait to take a HPT with FMU and get a BFP! I hope this is our month to have a DD or DS. 

Biology 101. Implantation releases HCG which in turn is detected on an HPT.

Only my IF ladies may find this funny. I'm not mad. Sorry I get bored and make memes all day.

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