Sunday, May 19, 2013

Busy Little Bee

This was me last week off to see my RE for another face to vagina visit for my anticipated HSG.

For the record, I am not an American badass. Like I stated last post.  More like American crybaby.  I don't know about you but OUCH! The HSG I had done last week was not just a cake walk scenario of dye shot up your private parts. I cried a little alot.  Yes it was only temporary and lasted only minutes but for goodness sakes if I ever have one of those done again I think I might have a panic attack.  Full circle now with the Valium.  I told Dr. H he could chop off my legs and I wouldn't feel it because I was so high from the drugs they gave me.  He laughed but was probably thinking, "she has no idea what is about to happen."  It felt like Dr. H stuck a hot poker up inside me and lit everything on fire, then I had to lay on that cold, hard x-ray table while the "fire" slowly went out.  After the pain subsided, Dr. H comforted and reassured me that my clear right tube and sketchy left tube(which was partially blocked) was nothing to be worried about.  He was confident that we proceeded with another IUI.  I managed to leak out a shaky "ok" and wiped my emotional tears away after feeling violated yet again and waddled to the bathroom.   Lucky for me the technician handed me this enormous, economy pad that could  have soaked up the Mississippi River before I half-nakedly waddled away, trying not to drip blood and dye every where.  I have reached the point where I am no longer embarrassed by my bodily fluids or anyone else seeing them for that matter.  I can't help it that I just had a metal rod scraped up inside me and my tubes flushed out by someone from Roto-Rooter. The only side effect was that I bled for a couple days and it was very light.  I thankfully had no cramping or pain.  So if you are about to undergo an HSG I would like to quote one of my adored, animal loving, hippie at heart movies, We Bought A Zoo, and say.....

Thank goodness its over and done with though.  Those 20-60 seconds were rough.  Goodbye HSG, hello IUI number 2!  I know crazy?! Already moving on to the next one this week.  Thursday to be exact. Unless I get a positive earlier on my OPKs.  This is what happened after I drove the 70 miles home from my appointment.  I stripped down and threw on my bikini and poured a jumbo thermos of frozen, tropical paradise.  Well deserved indeedy.

So enough about the never ending saga of infertility.  Let me tell you how I have been trying to keep sane this week waiting out the next sperm concoction kamikaze my RE will by introducing to my lady parts again.  One would think that if your paying 400 dollars every time that he would at least buy me lunch.  Just think about it. This man not only gets to look at my private parts but he gets to shoot sperm out of a syringe into a tube into my vagina. AND the kicker is I pay him. Hahaha!
I am dying over here just thinking about the concept.  Ok, I know its not just some simple little process that a random stranger could do with a straw and used syringe bought off eBay in a sketchy hotel room. But big picture here people! That's all I'm saying.
or maybeeeeee

I think I always trail off here at the end of my posts and throw in a bunch of pictures to fill up space.  Not going to lie. I am lazy. Plus I woke up at 5am with a terrible kink in my neck and I feel like a special kid trying to hold my head up as I type.  But really I have been taking my leftover pain meds that I didn't even need after my HSG today.  Sorry K$lupe.  It hurts that bad.  I will be making a trip to the Dr.(never been there) tomorrow if it still hurts this bad. I might have done something digging and shoveling in the dirt all week. You know me Bobette over here.  I did manage to get my mower fixed after I changed everything under the sun on the darn thing.  It had water in the gas. Go figure.  So some of my days are spent push mowing the 2 acres of yard we have.  For now its exercise and a time killer during these periods of waiting.

I also purchased a weed trimmer. Talk about a woman on a power trip. I may have taken a tiny, replaceable piece out of our siding but the thing has got some kick to it. My bad bad.
Everything that the light touches is ours Simba....well green in this case...this is just the backyard from both sides...enjoyable while its under 90 degrees but thank goodness for my nephew who is coming this summer.  I should mention that he is like a son to me and is with me in the summers and most holidays.  T will be 12 this year and it makes me feel older yet again.  My little buddy growing up too fast.  I already promised him one of those self inflatable ring pools, that are only around 200 hundred bucks but really I envision my hopefully pregnant, hot, sweaty, self jumping in clothes and all.  The beach is about a 40 minute drive so it will keep us cool on days we stay home.  Randomly we have a tiny little waterpark about 15 minutes from our house so that's where we will split up some of our beach days.

I also managed to tackle the front of the house. Mulching, picking weeds, digging and planting a border around our Live Oak tree as well. I picked up my favorite flowered hanging baskets, Fuchsias, and potted the tree my sister bought me.  One can never have too many American Flags I know what your thinking!

Lastly I decided to buy some real landscape lights from Lowes. You know the kind that runs off electricity that you have to put together without killing yourself or catching your house on fire. Then you must dig a line hole to cover all the wires you have so graciously spread over a 30 foot range.  Forgetting that you have a outside cover and your plug in will not fit properly is only a mishap.  Because you will then go back to Lowes and buy a timer that you can mount, which has a cord that fits properly into the outside outlet. When you are done, then you can coat yourself with bug spray, sit back, listen to the crickets, light a fire and glow in all your electrical, talented glory while humming   R  E  S  P  E  C  T find out what it means to me.....
Let us not forget to thank these hobos for all the help sleep they did while I was out busting my tail.
Till next time kids! Which will probably be sooner than later since I have no life and my IUI appointment isn't until Thursday.  Thank you as always for your love and support whether it is silent or spoken the fact that you took the time to read all of this intrigues me either way.

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