Friday, May 31, 2013

Confessions Of An Infertile Yard Saleoholic

I made this little meme on my iPad awhile back and right now I am at around 7 or 8 DPO just so you know how I am feeling.  Next week cannot come soon enough. Understatement.
Lets just begin by saying I need help.  I am already aware of that.  So go ahead and let me get that out of the way before you start judging my uncontrollable behavior when I land myself at a used gold mine of all things baby.  We are not talking your local smelly, stained, my kids not wearing that thrift store find.  I am talking brand new, never worn, adorable, brand name less than one dollar for each piece gold mine treasure trove.  "Dolla make me holla Honey Boo Boo child".....or stab someone if they reach for something I saw first.  I will claim insanity: deployments, infertility, baby clothes; I think it's safe to to say I got that one in the bag.  It has never happened because I always arrive first but I am prepared for when the time comes to take someone out.  I can tell you that I am a well prepared yard saler because I have an app that maps out and lists the ones that have exactly what I am looking for.  Lets just say I get there first((winking, with a smirk of victory across my face)). Oh and I might add that I am pretty fast in my awesome new running shoes that I finally splurged on yesterday. Loveeeee themmmm!  I did a mile almost died running up the road from the house and my feet and shins have no complaints.  My thighs would beg to differ today, even just sitting down to pee is an accomplishment.  I am no longer letting this weight(literally and metaphorically) of infertility keep me from pushing myself in fear of it keeping me from conceiving.

Asic gel-noosa Tri-8s for those that are in the market...they glow in the dark people, enough said.
I have always loved a good yard sale.  Even before I began looking at hoards of baby crap.  An antique dresser, an old mirror or anything that I could find for practically nothing and then slap on some paint and repurpose.  It is one of my favorite happy places.  Gardening and repurposing.  That puts a smile in my heart thinking about the two in the same sentence.  My grandmother(moms side) was an avid yard saler.  So was my mom and aunts, so I guess that's where I get it from.  When I was younger, under 12 years old,  I loved going with them to yard sales.  Then when I became a hateful and spoiled teenager I thought they were embarrassing.  Oh, the pitiful teenage drama of one of your friends catching you at a yard sale buying anything used.  I would have thought someone was insane if they told me in ten years I would stop on a dime, breaks smoking, whiplash action just to bust a u-turn in the middle of the road so I wouldn't pass a gold mine of treasures.  Granted a lot of times I walk away feeling heartbroken without anything to show except a sore neck but you have to remember I am in the business of taking chances in my life constantly. You must think it is crazy for someone like me to even be at a yard sale buying baby things.  I have thought of three main reasons justifications for this answer to myself. 

1) I am thrifty cheap and paying to just "try" to have a child month after month is enough expense alone. I want my baby to be blessed and not go without things just because mommy's private parts were broken and the doctor had to help out.  Sorry baby, you must sleep on Max's dog bed tonight.

2) Someone is always popping out a kid in our family like Michelle Duggar in her 20's.  Sharing is caring.

3) I like to be prepared. I have had five years to wait so far and why wait to start buying until I have a baby. One way or another kidnapping, I will have a baby.  Being a military wife you give up a huge amount of control over things and then add infertility.  So I like to drive the baby buying bus for now and be prepared. Sue me.

With all that said, today was a great treasure day.  When your looking for yard sales you have to know your area and go early.  Those are two key things when you want to get the good stuff before it is gone.   My yard sale app showed a multi-family(another key word to look for) sale in a fancy neighborhood with mostly baby things.  It is a Friday and most yard sales are on Saturdays so I knew A)They would have a lot of stuff today and no one would really be there to stab and B)The neighborhood was super nice more of the upper class of that area.  I could not have been more correct with my professional yard sale skills assumption.  If I was playing a slot machine at a casino it would have read triple 7s.

No, the storage bin came from WM, I wish I didn't have to pay 15 bucks for plastic. That's like 15 outfits! I only paid .50 cents per onesie, 1.00 per outfit/sleeper/shorts/pants and 2 bucks for the blankets.


Now this is where it gets tricky when it comes to the adrenaline rush of a good deal and borderline hoarding.  You really do not need 50 pink onesies or 3 baby swings.  No matter how much your brain tries to convince you that you need both of them, one for each of your mothers houses.  No, Rachel put down the two baby swings and walk away.  And .50 cents for brand new, adorable onesies are really great to have but please be realistic and think about not buying 50 of all of them in the same size.  But if its twins..............or disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: Exclusions apply if the yard "seller" just starts giving you stuff because they "just want to get rid of it." No accountability held against you there my friend and if you go back on the last day at the last hour this is when you score big(insider trick) Your welcome. Or if you hold a baby blanket to your face and squeeze out a tear and whisper how you wish you could have a baby one day. That could do the trick or make you look like a freak.  Your call.

Yes people, its never too late to start an OCD collection of baby items. Even when you're not pregnant.
I not only hit up a gold star yard sell today but also the NY sirloin of consignment shops. This place, Once Upon A Child, is immaculate and organized as if I worked there myself.  I stick with the clearance stuff to make the prices almost as good as yard sales so for  $1.75 per outfit I am not complaining. Everything is new condition and very adorable.  A baby hoarders paradise we can say.  I swear I heard angels sing when I walked in for the first time.  Granted the unfit mothers screaming at their two year olds while trying to soothe a baby all while complaining about being a mother is the price one must pay to save a buck.  Besides we get that at our local Target anyways.  Don't say you weren't warned though.
This(sleeper isle) is literally just one of the ten isles on the girls side. All by size and category. Win.

This is what these guys were up too while momma went AWOL while cleaning out and then filling the spare closet with her new treasures.  New bones to keep them Barry busy.
I hope everyone has a beautiful weekend.  This girl is headed to Myrtle Beach until Monday night to visit family and kick the rest of this 2ww's bootay'.  And if you're an IF warrior out yard sell shopping or hitting up the sales at the mall don't be ashamed and remember my three justifications above.  Lets just keep the hoarding to a minimum.  You need room for the baby too! xoxo

No comments:

Post a Comment